I went through a huge process of growth when I was living in India. It changed me at a core and foundational level. But this inner work was not easy for me to integrate. Some aspects of what my soul had opened up to left me with so many more questions than answers that I spun out into a state of non-coherence. I had trouble finding my inner compass again.
Some of this confusion and lack of coherence was part of the transformation process... we often have to go into the wilderness of our being to find a truer sense of self. But part of this experience was also due to trauma I had experienced and I needed to re-orient towards the goodness and wholeness in me.
I fortunately had the gift of meeting a mentor, Jennifer Johnson, who trained me in a healing modality called Resonance Repatterning. The method uses muscle checking to guide a session where we identify and shift negative patterns in ourselves that we resonate with and positive patterns that we do not. Then we use simple energetic techniques to shift these resonances. We also identify positive actions that one can take to support the shifts in the longer term.
I use this work regularly as a "tune up" when I realize that I am spiraling into negative thought or behavior patterns. I find the work especially supportive for people who are going through big transitions or are doing such deep healing that they feel a bit unmoored. It helps find that inner compass again, so the navigation through challenging times gets a bit clearer.
I have also used this work to support deeper healing. There are ways to bring in intergenerational patterns into the work. I have also had things come in from past lives where I have been able to do some soul tending of patterns that have been with me over many lifetimes.
If you are interested in exploring this work with me, visit my "Offerings" page!
I recently did some thematic harmonizing work with my female lineages. I came to the work feeling at a bit of a discord between myself and other women in my life. There has been a common theme throughout my life around not feeling in harmony with other women and I have been curious about the ancestral roots of this phenomenon. So I took it to my ancestors and they recommended that we do a harmonization process between my mother’s mothers, my mother’s father’s mothers, my father’s mothers and my father’s father’s mothers. All 4 of these lineages are in good health, each bringing a unique strength. In my process I started with my mother’s people and then worked with my father’s people and then with all 4 together.
From the stories passed down from my mom, I had a sense that her two lineages did not get along. When I brought them together there was a great sense of each needing to be seen in its strength by the other. When that recognition took place, there was a feeling of great mutual respect that flowed from them into me. It was a sense of an ability to be with the greatness of the other without giving up any of your greatness.
This hit home with some of my feelings with other women. I have felt like I have to become smaller to make them feel comfortable or have felt small in relationship to their greatness. To experience the greatness of my lineages stand in their fullness and recognize each other in that fullness gave me an imprint for how this can look and feel in an embodied way. I feel their coming together as a salve for a deep wound I have been playing out with other women.
My father’s lineages were a bit more in harmony from the start. It feels like the women in the two lineages are kindred spirits, each with their own strengths and insights, but with a common heart for the earth and the cosmos.
When I brought all 4 lineages together there was a sense of the feminine really coming home. Each lineage holds a piece of the larger tapestry of the feminine in a way that, when combined, they form a powerful expression of the larger feminine mythos that I can see play out in tangible ways in my life, but also in a larger cosmic scale. Some of the traits of this combined energy are deep earth relationship in ways that can predict and manage resources, as well as relationship with the celestial cycles, and additionally a tending of the feminine wounding by the patriarchy in a way that brings profound wisdom and healing to broken places.
I am a small part of a much larger work happening on this planet and in the larger universe (and multiverse). By coming into alignment with the wisdom of my ancestors, I can step into my part to play in a fuller way.
One of the gifts of my lineages is a wisdom around timing. We are part of a much larger cycle of learning and growing happening on the planet and part of what we are learning is how we create connection and work in harmony with each other. I don’t expect my lineage work to immediately alter all of the female relationships I have, but I do see how it adds a positive perspective and energy to those relationships, which moves all of us towards a larger direction of healing. I look forward to witnessing the patient unfolding this work is a part of.
If you are interested in exploring the wisdom of your ancestors and assisting in the healing of your lineages and the larger collective, you can learn more here!
I’ve been asked by the nature spirits I work with to start to co-create essences (energetic medicine) for each of the zodiac signs over a year-long process. This month I started this work with Aries, the sign that begins what is traditionally thought of as the new cycle of the yearly circumnavigation around the zodiac. In my work with the essence I am making I have come to know Aries in a different way, in a way that brings what we traditionally think of a very independent sign back into relationship, which makes it more reflective of its opposite sign, Libra.
This full moon in Libra reflecting an Aries sun allows us to explore these paradigms of individuation and interconnection in a way that can be nourishing to the soul.
One of the lessons of my work with Aries has been that while it holds the energy of hope, courage, perseverance, and individuation, in its highest form it does so with a deep sense of interconnection, of connection to and partnership with the larger forces of creation. In some ways we are all portals for the forces of creation to act through us. In my cosmology there is a primal essence, which I associate with the void, which all emerges from and returns to, that speaks through all of creation. I associate this with the Tao or the Buddhist sense of the emptiness that is the true nature of all things. In this way the Aries sense of becoming “me” is rooted in a profound sense of my connection with the source that is all things. There is no final individuation, only a sense of becoming more of my part of the whole.
I’ve come to understand that when we start to entrain with the forces of nature, like the rotation of the earth around the sun and the seasonal patterns that are expressed through that rotation, then we start to come back into more intimate relationship with the primal force that speaks through all things. It is a way to “remember” in a world of forgetting.
Aries can often play into the “forgetting” with its wild individualism and Libra brings us back into a sense of relationship.
As someone who often feels outside of social norms, Libra can be challenging for me. She asks me to see the primal forces of creation in the people around me. I can see this more readily in the non-human people I interact with, especially in the nature realms, but to see this in humans or in society in general is trickier for me. My feeling is that we have lost our entrainment to these primal forces in a way that has encouraged rampant individualism at the expense of interconnection.
So in some ways this full moon in Libra is an opportunity to come back into alignment in a way that is needed both on an individual and a collective level.
May you feel the primal forces working in you and your life during this particular passage of time and may this ripple out in larger ways in your life and those around you!
Breathe in and out in a relaxed way, noticing the way the in breath and the out breath bring balance to your body and mind. This is the balancing nature of airy Libra. The inner and the outer are intimately in tune with each other through the breath. As you breathe in, you are intimately connected with the air around you and all the plants and animals who have breathed this air. And as you breathe out, you contribute some essence of yourself to this larger web. Take a moment to be in silence with this breath of interconnection.
Now notice the inner fire that enlivens your being. The warmth of your body. This is the fire of Aries. Take a moment to feel the liveliness of your heartbeat. As it beats, inwardly whisper the phrase, “this is my heart”. Bring a sense of gratitude to the expression of heart that you uniquely bring to the world. What does your heart dream? What does your heart love? How does your heart love? And feel into those toughened places in your heart that life may have caused to constrict and bring some compassion to how even these places are a unique expression of the whole that is you.
And also bring attention to how your heart is formed from strands of DNA passed on from generations of lives, made of building blocks that are found in wild nature as well as the stars above. There is a way in which you are uniquely you, but you are also interwoven from all of creation. Take a moment of appreciation for your unique expression of life and its interconnection with the past, present and future of all things.
My thoughts on the path of deep animist relationship